Eid was awesome. So glad i didn't let the stress of this situation effect me on Eid and throughout Ramadan. I really feel focusing on Ramadan has really helped me maintain my sanity and become more peaceful. So I finally met the concubine in person. She didn't speak and I didn't speak to her. The last week of Ramadan we were at an event together and I saw her, and she saw me and kept starring at me. Not sure why she kept starring, but I can only guess if I were in her shoes I would really want to get a good look at the first wife, and see if you measure up. It was really sad looking at her. She is very homely, not well dressed and just overall not attractive. I really feel sorry for her. As muslimas I feel we should always present ourselves as best as we can. A little fashion sense, and makeup can go a long way. For her to even be associated with my husband really brings down his reputation. But he's told me many times he is not trying to be with her for her looks, he knows she is not very attractive but she has "a big heart." I guess a big heart goes a long way. He has also told me he only needs one trophy wife (me) which is supposed to make me feel better. It does not. But during the event she kept starring and there was even several times we had to make wudu at the same time and were in speaking distance of each other. I am really pleased that i didn't say anything to her because i don't think it would have been nice. So no salaams, no words just stares, interesting. Glad she didn't speak because I don't want to hear her voice, its best for now at least that she remains out of my world. Well the saga continues.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYes, I do feel she was desperate to approach him. Regardless of the man I would never approach him. I've never had to put myself out there for any man so its hard for me to even understand her thinking. I just pray for her. She told him before she was having a lot of difficulty finding a husband, and none of the guys people were hooking her up with seemed to work out. So she knew he was a good man and wanted to know if he would consider a relationship with her..hmm.
ReplyDeleteSalamu alaikum ukhti,
ReplyDeleteI had to delete my first comment because I realised it was kind of mean of me to day shes desperate. May Allah forgive me. I hope you and her can find peace and tranquility in your marriage. I felt sorry for her.. in that case I wouldnt mind sharing my husband if she is as you described. (May Allah reward you for your good heart).
Assalaamu alaykum,
ReplyDeleteMay Allah make things easy for you all.
If it were me I would be intimidated by the 'first wife', especially if she were prettier than me, mashaAllah...maybe next time you could say salaams and smile at her. You know, extend the hand of friendship etc. You never know it might soften things...
Saying that, what do I know, I'm not in a polygynous marriage. I wish you happiness, sister.
Aliyah