Asalaamu-alaikum world. I am a twenty something Muslim woman, graduate student, and business owner, facing the reality of polygamy. I created this blog as an outlet for myself through this process and as a possible site for others in this situation for support tips and advice. Trust me when I say I am
no Islamic scholar, sheik or mulana however often words from others in similar situations can prove to be far more helpful than from those in different situations. This blog is
NOT meant to be a "go to" site for hadith, or any Islamic rulings or "how to guide" for establishing a plural marriage, you
will not find this here. Inshallah I do plan on sharing hadiths from time to time, especially those that are helpful and relate to the treatment of women. However is blog is mainly a platform of expression, thoughts and ideas on the topic and one woman's struggle with it.
I wanted to also introduce a few things about me before I really begin blogging. For the most part I will try my best to be open, honest, and correct and try not to backbite or slander others. However, such things as the pen name "Jaiyanna Muslima" I have chosen to blog under is not my real name. The name Jaiyanna means "strong" in Arabic or so I'm told ( do not speak the language). So this is my reason for choosing the pen name. I make dua Allah grants me the strength and wisdom to deal with this situation and become better as a result. Other names will be changed to protect my identity and my families and keep this anonymous as possible. Polygamy and the practice is very taboo and difficult to deal with. Until I am ready to reveal my situations to family and friends and the community I live in I will continue to blog under my pen name.I will refer to my husband as "Hassan" its not his name but, I've always liked the name Hassan so that's a good enough reason. A few other things and misconceptions about women in polygamy :
- I do not have 13 children ( we actually have none)
- We are not on Welfare or any government assistance (Al-humdillah we do well :-)
- We are both highly educated , (the potential 2nd wife is also)
- There is no abuse in the relationship, my husband actually treats me very well
I just wanted to point out somethings about me and my relationship, as many people hear polygamy and automatically think you are being abused , on welfare with a million children. This is so not the case. I say potential 2nd wife because the two are not yet married but are planning on doing so. I am not so naive to think that this will not become a reality. I wanted to start this blog from beginning until wherever this journey takes me. Also I feel if the potential 2nd wives out there could really understand the first wives emotions,hurt and true feelings on the situation they may be more inclined to respect the original marriage and be more sensitive .These are just my thoughts. If you do not like my blog feel free look and read elsewhere. This is my personal experiences, choices and views. Feel free to leave comments.
