I am thankful that I am so amazing. I am thankful that I dont know where Snipes lives because knowing may or may not give thought to bad ideas of keying cars. LOL.
I am thankful that I am dealing with this now, instead of 8 kids and 13 years later. I am thankful that I can throw up a peace sign at anytime. I am thankful for my education, Islamic and secular knowledge is power yall. I am thankful that my sense of style is effortlessly fabulous. I am thankful that my mom raised me with some good sense and strong head on my shoulders..so when I see some foolishness I can call it out. I am thankful for my awesome family, who continue to give me strength and courage to face each new day and challenge. I am so thankful that I am Muslim, otherwise this situation would have likely caused me to drinking ...and or possibly some other toxic behavior. LOL. I am thankful that whatever money I make I can keep 100% and do not have to pay any bills unlike Snipes. LOL . I am thankful that in this moment I dont hurt anymore. I am so thankful that I didn't key Hassan's car...lookin back that wouldn't have been a good idea. Prison blue...not my color. I am also thankful I did make those special brownies ...gotta get laughs in when you can. I am so thankful I took this much needed vacay to relax and regroup. I am thankful that I can honestly say I have did things according to the sunnah and how things are supposed to go down, so if I need to peace out..I will have no regrets. I am thankful that through all this I have been true to myself and what I stand for. Dudes are crazy, life is crazy, and I never wanna lose myself in someone's foolishness. I am thankful I stop myself after thinking of doing crazy stuff to Hassan. Its so not worth it. Its so not my fault he was dropped on his head a few dozen times and cannot appreciate the awesome jewel he was blessed with. I am thankful my Umi and Abu have awesome genes and produced some gorgeous children . (I'm not conceited i promise lol) I am thankful for my health and thankful for a new day to grow and learn what this life has to offer. I am thankful to my awesome gym..and the kickboxing class they offer LOL. I am thankful for the iSubha iphone app now I can track all the zikr I do!. I am thankful I dont pay my cell phone bill..or any other bill for that matter. I am thankful for starbucks and the awesome Carmel macchiato! I am thankful for my adorable nieces and nephews ..can love them and then send them back to their mommies!I am thankful for all the skills Allah has blessed me with. I am thankful for these awesome cupcakes I just made. What are yall thankful for ??
Amen Sister! Hmmmm... What am I thankful for? At the moment I am thankful for my strength not to run in the other direction...haha Glad to hear you are doing well! Hugs to you!!
ReplyDelete:-) hugs to you. Thats always good to be thankful for. Take it one day at a time :-)
ReplyDeleteI am thankful that I was born a Muslim and that I was chosen to be one from the moment I was born. This makes me feel special, that Allah swt had chosen me to be a Muslimah from day one. I feel thankful that I have a family and that I live in a country where I can be a Muslimah and be me at the same time, I'm thankful that I can enjoy eating anything I like everyday, drinking clean water breathing clean air. I am thankful that I have free-time to do things I enjoy like sit down and read your blog. I am thankful that I have everything I need to survive to walk, talk, see, smell and taste and I am thankful that I can bow down to Allah swt.
ReplyDelete@ Sarah... Salam... I am glad you are grateful for all those things...it's a blessing to be living where you do and you can be yourself and yet also be a proud Muslimah..Mashallah! just one question though....so am I "unspecial" because I wasn't "chosen" by ALLAH to be a Muslim from day one?( I am a revert) ;)
ReplyDeleteI am thankful that Allah guided me back to islam (since everyone is born muslim, it is our caregivers who convert us). I am thankful that I have two legs to walk, two arms to hold my daughter, eyes to see this beautiful world, a voice to communicate with others. I am thankful for my mind, I am thankful for my husband and his job so that I can stay at home with our daughter. i am thankful for all the friends that I have. I am thankful for so many things that I couldnt possibly list them in this short life that we have. I admire your positive attitude during this difficult trial you are faced with. You are handling it very well mashaAllah.
ReplyDeleteI am thankful that I came home to a smiling husband and 2 "please pet me now" cats..haha. Made my bad day a little bit better....
ReplyDeleteI am grateful for my health and strength; my family, the guidance I've been given, my home, my food and drink, and good meds :)
ReplyDelete@The first wive
ReplyDeleteOh.. I didnt mean that muslim converts are less special, all i meant was is that I'm glad i was born this way so i kind of got a golden key from birth, but converts had to think, research, study, go through a journey to make it to Islam, if anything you are more special than me.
Whether you were muslim at birth or at 20 years old or 30 years old, either way Allah chose us to be his believers :)
You made a comment about you not having to pay any money of yours to bills or anything but Snipes does. How come Snipes has to give her money to the family but you don't?
ReplyDelete~Abby
@Abby, good question lol. When me and Hassan married it was understood that he would pay the bills and my money was mine. I do/did contribute if/when I wanted to for misc stuff. This is a woman right in Islam . The man must be the provider so if the woman works she has the right to keep her $ . When Snipes came into the mix I told him from the begining I would never lower my standards so he can "maintain" her. She knew our cost of living was high and that he wouldn't be able to pay her bills and mine, she agreed to this. So she knows she will have to continue to work. She decided for whatever reason to give up her "rights" just to be married. Which in my opinion is dumb and desperate. She contributes to her bills not mine. We don't live together nor will we ever.
ReplyDelete@Jaiyana,
ReplyDelete"The other wife" is gonna learn real fast that having a man that doesn't pay the bills gets old real fast. A woman isn't going to respect herself or her man if he's not providing for her. Woman who fall into this category are desperate, have low self-esteem, and are looking for love in all the wrong places! And basically stupid.
@Anonymous so true, He pays some of her bills let me clarify. But about 80-90% she is paying her own stuff solo. Yeah she has to work, oh well. Yeah I would never give up my rights to be married. That will get old real quick. Oh well. Also women need to let men be men. ITs HIS responsibility to maintain her and pay her stuff. She should never have agreed to this. Oh well. Cant tell folks nothin, some people have to learn the hard way.
ReplyDeleteYou will have to keep us posted on how that is going....haha.. I have a feeling that it wont last.
ReplyDeleteI myself have decided to put in my notice at my job this Sunday. I am going to take some classes and do some language courses and try to increase my deen a little...(i needs a little help) My husband will now feel the full effect of supporting me and the house 100%. He is ok with it, as he should be. haha I feel a little weird about this as this is the first time since I was 16 that I wont have a job. Hmmm.. I will keep you posted as well..haha
@the first wife, Wow!!! You go girl!!!! Do yo thang!!! Educate yourself to the max!!! Let the man be a man....if he can. HA!
ReplyDelete@Jaiyana, one more to add to the list: the women are pathetic and needy too. LOL
Salams to all the lovely Muslim sisters! Alhumdulilah there are so many, many, blessing I am so thankful for. Subhanallah, I thank Allah for everything. This beautiful Deen I've been given, My loving family, my good health, and that I have restful sleep. I'm thankful that Allah has blessed me with understanding, and knowledge of Deen. May Allah increase me in it. Ameen. I'm thankful to be blessed with beauty, inwardly and outwardly, Alhamdulilah! I'm thankful for the lessons I've learned, good and bad. They helped me to grow. I thank Allah for water, food, air, and the warmth of the sun. Allah's favors, mercies, and blessings upon us are endless. Alhumdulilah @Sarah Bint Muhammad, Mashallah sister, you seem to be so sweet, and kind in your words. You really have a special Noor. May Allah continue to bless you in your life, and give you great things!
ReplyDelete@jaiyana, even though she agreed to help pay her bills, at anytime she can assert her rights and not work which will force hubby to pay both bills. which could lead hubby into changing/rearranging how he takes care of you. by downsizing, or spending less on you. meaning not having such high cost of living. in islam that is his right. in shafi'i school the house, car etc. belongs to him. unless he gave it to you as a gift. that he can't take back. but everything else, belongs to him. so if he needs to sell house to move to cheaper house, or cheaper apartment to be able to take care of his wives, then that is his right.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous yes, i know this technically is still her right, and she can try to change her mind later and want him to pay for her stuff. But, if he ever tries to downsize my living for that crap I will leave instantly.
ReplyDeleteWow, I haven't commented in quite some time - needed to take a breather from my anger. However, @anonymous, you just sound like u want to stir up trouble. Have u been affected by polygyny. For one thing, there is a reality of finances and cost of living - if I am not mistaken, Jaiyana, u live in America? Snipes Im assuming is of AA descent, otherwise I don't think u would have referred to her as Snipes. Any woman who marries a brother w/o maintenance is in a quagmire. I doubt highly if she throws her hands up and says "I'm not working, I'm not paying bills because most likely her ass is going to be homeless.lol. The economy is REAL!!! Unless Hassan is majnoon he is not going to try to downsize because he knows that crap is not going to pan out. Trust me shes not that important in terms of his own status. For some men, this is about Status. To have 2 or more women, makes him feel RIGHT SPECIAL :) It is very true though that if a man does not fully maintains a woman, the respect begins to wilt because 90% of women want to be able to say, "My Husband did that, or My Husband bought me this". or when they hear their girlfriends brag about this, they began to feel some kinda of way. Trust me Jaiyana when people (men & women) are not true to themselves and are truly are not living this way for the pleasure of Allah, it slowly fizzles out. The unfortunate part though, for those game players - Sisters who come into it with a raunchy attitude and its not about Sisterly Love at all, it was about nafs. Those are the women who would be the same homewreckers in dunya. Don't waste your time with Snipes she doesn't appear to have good intentions and with that it may not last very long.
ReplyDeleteAmeen Jaiyana!!!! Hugs to you!
ReplyDelete@Anonymous 2:02, so true. Before he married Snipes we discussed this because I already knew like most woman Snipes will may eventually try to change her tune and not like the idea of having working and pay for everything when she knows I dont. All that agreeing to stuff in the begining will get old soon and she will realize how desperate she really was to accept that. So anyways when me and Hassan discussed "what if she loses her job", or what if she wants him to pay rent ect." He said to me "I told her what I could afford, she knew my limits. She will have to get another job." He knows "downsizing" me will not fly, that's not even an option not now not ever. So Snipes knows whats up. Oh well, not my fault cant tell folks nothing. But having to pay most of your bills will get old fast, and lose respect for your hubbie.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with Anonymous at 2:02 when she made a point of the brothers taking 2 wives as a status thing. A lot of the brothers I know that are getting involved in polygyny seem to feel they have something to prove. They may be low income, or not have the nicest of possessions, but feel they will get plenty of "Props" from the other brothers if they can get multiple women to be with. In a halal manner of course. They usually end up lookin pretty dumb. They have now bitten off more than they can chew. Their stuff starts lookin very raggedy. I wonder do they know how they look to the community, or are they to self absorbed to even notice. I know one thing my Ummie used to always tell me was, "Never do a Man's job". Don't go working, and tryin to be the provider, just to make it easier on them. Men have the "labor" of working, providing, ect. We have the "labor" of pain from, Birthing our children. They certainly are not gonna ease the burden of our labor. We all have our roles. Never waive anything. Sisters who do usually regret it. Plus shouldn't a sister in that position feel she is worthy of what Allah has said is meant for her to have??? To be maintained?? That has to be a horrible feeling to be with a man, and having to waive your rights. Honestly it's very insulting for a real man to approach a sister on that vibe to begin with. That should be red flag #1!. We are all worth much more. I know you Jaiyana will hear no such foolishness!! Good Girl, lol. Stay Strong! Salams
ReplyDelete